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follow me im funny and i reblog selfies

cutefollower:

*at my wedding*

me: I’d do you

shewillmove-mountains:

this is literally what it’s like to be 21

carryonmywincestson:

INTELLIGENCE IS NOT MEASURED IN YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF MATH

tupacabra:

it’s your money and i need it now

weepingdildo:

I want a relationship that’s just like super cool friendship with like kissing

slayboybunny:

"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person" 
"oh sorry about that sir" 

ohlookanimeboys:

When I meet a friend’s friend and they leave us alone together

image

michaxl:

you dont like the word breast??? ok we’re having chicken boobs for dinner

sniffing:

do you ever want a cute boy to message you bc same

cyberho:

me: catches feelings before we even start talking 

nunown:

Somebody told me

You had a girlfriend

Who looked like a……………………..slime man

breakingbag:

yes hello this is your pilot speaking and by pilot i mean i read a wikihow on flying a plane once so i guess ill just have to WING it haha just a little pilot humor okie dokie nothing to worry about folks im sure i can figure this out

renkos:

ma’m will you please stop breakdancing we are trying to deliver your baby

annmariexrose:

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.